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from It's the Daily Scream!

Do I talk about all the things that happened today?

April 3rd

fedi photo post

Or do I go into detail as to what I learned from those things? Again with asking myself endless questions. That is all I really have are more questions. I did some serious cleaning today and that surely was a good thing.

I sit here across from a mirror. I don't think this mirror is helping my focus though so maybe I will have to move it. I finally have working internet in the bus thanks to a hacked wireless router that Mikey have me. Its even flashed to DD-WRT, I named it TRASH FUTURE.

If I set up more of a kitchen thing here I think I would be better equipped to be settled in this bus for a bit. That and a fan. I guess I could get this aircon running again...

I put off writing again too long and now I just feel burnt out. I have to remember I need to write early on in the evening if I am actually going to do this writing every day.

Watching movies in the bus without having to download them first is gonna be really nice. I think it will help me spend more time in here. I only wish the bus wasn't so slanted. I guess I should try to rehab the batteries. That is a process I could attempt to do without having to spend a bunch of money...


from It's the Daily Scream!

There are only so many things I am able to say.

April 2nd 2020

also posted on the fediverse

For instance pretty much anything in another language. Think of all the different emotions I could potentially convey in other languages that have no translation. Actually that's impossible without learning the language first because translation is only a partial step in the way things are able to be expressed. I am reminded of how trapped we are in our past ways of thinking and communicating. We are literal incarnations of every previous moment. We continue to exist moment by moment while also existing in every past moment we have ever existed in. This is a conundrum that will eternally frustrate the humanness into us. I guess we can relish this problem to keep living out our best self's.

Alyssa just delivered a large box of dumpstered food to the house. Such a nice gift. They also washed the large bed sheet that I gave back to them after they moved out of my bus that was covered in dog hair. They didn't want it cause it didn't fit their new bed.

I spent much of the day looking through a box of “paper stuff” that I hadn't looked through for a long time. It contained all sorts of things that somehow were special. I had picked that box thinking it might contain many things that could be gotten rid of. But when I started going through it everything within it had memories attached. How many times must I keep going through these things and holding onto them?

I just made a cup of ginger tea with manuka honey. It is too hot for me to drink right now which is a bit frustrating cause I want to! I don't know what to write down here right now. I was thinking about restarting Duolingo Arabic from the beginning. I feel like there was too much time in between my lessons and now I am confused when I try to do the harder ones they give me. So maybe if I start from basics it will help. I think this is gonna have to do for today. Good night fediverse.


from It's the Daily Scream!

For every day I am alive I have eaten something.

April 1st 2020

posted on the fediverse separately I don't think there is a single day in my life I have not put some edible thing in my mouth and swallowed. There are days that I have not slept at all. There are days that I have not drank a single glass of water. If I am trying to ascertain my position in the universe and what it is I am suppose to do next that seems to be a good start. Find out what I have done so far. Famous made many connections in my life. I came to New Orleans with Famous and Felix for the first time on a whim. I met Rusty Lazer through Famous. I met Corinne through Rusty. I met Andrew through Corinne. Andrew had a bus. That bus was very inspiring to me to see Andrew work on it. Part of the inspiration led me to look for buses on the auction site and then me and Paloma ended up getting the bus together. I am sitting on a couch right now inside said bus. Tracing the lines between the people I have met and the things I have done. There are all these places I have traveled in my live but I have no idea why I went to any of them? What was I looking for? What was the point? Why did me and Paloma go to Kazakhstan together? It was there the last time I shaved my head. The old Muslim man with the bird in the bag on the wall. It was a tiny room. They must have been in their mid 70s. I sat down on the chair and we gestured to shave it all. K and PK watched from the outside of the shop, there was a cement ledge that ran along the buildings that the shop was in. Where does this story go? What is the purpose of any of these actions we take?

I was in the woods many times. Sometimes looking at mushrooms up close. Usually with some friends. Have I explored the woods alone? I think very rarely. I must have but I can't recall any specifics right now. I have always been excited about various animals. Finding frogs would always brighten my day. And again I lose track of where I am going.

To write a story in linear time one must have some idea of the passage of linear time and also maybe a purpose for telling the story. I don't. I know I want to get better at describing the world around me and transcribing the ideas that swirl in my head into a form that can be cherished for later. Maybe so my madness has a vague reason for existing. I think about Claire a good deal. Maybe I need to reach out to Claire and ask something of them. I scanned all those pictures while sitting in Tara's mothers floor in Taos. I forgot about that and just now remembered when writing this down. I never even finished cropping them. When was that? Christmas in the Taos Pueblo. Was that actually less then a year ago? No that doesn't work out, it must have been a year a 3 months ago. It feels like an eternity. So many relationships ended in unresolved chaos. I don't like that. But what is an end made of? How does one end a relationship without chaos?


from flux

애플이 중국 정부의 압력에 굴복해 앱 배달을 중단함에 따라 언론은 회사에 대한 비판을 강화하고 있다. 애플은 홍콩 시민들이 시위 상황을 파악하기 위한 앱스토어에서 HKMap Live를 삭제했는데, 이에 대해 회사가 인권보다 이익을 우선시했다는 비난이 쏟아지고 있다.

언론은 애플이 과거에도 여러 차례 중국 정부의 압력에 굴복해 왔으며, 회사가 새로 런칭한 영상 스트리밍 서비스인 애플 TV+의 콘텐츠를 자체 검열하고 있다고 보도하고 있다. 애플의 중국 사업이 이토록 광범위하게 걸쳐 트러블에 직면해 풍문 피해가 장기에 이르게 될 가능성이 있는 것은 처음 있는 일이다.

HKMap Live에 대한 애플의 반응은 엎치락뒤치락했다.이 앱은 홍콩 시민들이 시위와 경찰 단속에 관한 정보를 게시할 수 있다. 애플은 사용자가 경찰 단속을 피할 수 있게 된다며 앱을 승인하지 않았지만, 사회적 비판의 고조를 받아 회사는 결정을 뒤집어 배포를 인정했다.

그러나 중국 정부계 언론이 애플의 이번 앱 승인은 중대한 결과를 초래한다고 경고하자 애플은 다시 배포를 중단한 것이다.

일련의 비판에 대해 애플의 팀 쿡 CEO는 직원들에게 다음과 같은 메시지를 전달했다.

“이 결정은 결코 쉬운 것이 아니었으며 지금도 논쟁이 계속되고 있으므로 이에 대해 논의하기 어렵다.”

팀 쿡은 메일에서 해당 앱이 개인 경찰을 공격의 대상으로 만들거나 경찰이 부재한 곳에서 건물이나 개인에게 피해를 주는 것과 같은 악의적인 사용법을 얻게 되면 홍콩 사이버보안 기술범죄국이 이에 대한 정보를 얻게될 수도 있다고도 밝혔다.

그러나 애플의 주요 출처가 홍콩 정부인 점을 감안할 때, 신빙성에 대한 물음표가 붙는다. 애플은 경찰이 집중되어있는 곳을 보여 주며개인 단위로 경찰의 행동을 추적할 수 없다. 또한 지도에 아무것도 기재되지 않는다고 해서 경찰이 단속을 하지 않는 것도 결코 아니다.

홍콩 특별 행정 구역 입법 회의에 소속된 찰스 모크는 쿡에게 항의 서한을 보냈다고 밝혔는데, 이는 애플이 가치보다 이익을 우선시했다고 비판함과 동시에 경찰의 만행을 피하려는 일반 홍콩 시민들에게 불이익을 가져다 줄 것이라고 밝힌 바 있다.


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from catgoat

I keep going back and forth on staying with the company I'm with or moving on. I think myself and our QA team member are going to leave this year, but no one else knows that yet.

I have the chance to work with a start up a previous coworker works at — and I think I should take it. It's a pay cut, though, and not an insignificant one. The catch I guess, is current work does profit sharing.. and that's almost like a trap. If you know you can get a large chunk of money at the end of every year if you can just tough it out, it feels like a sunk cost fallacy almost. If you don't find that new job in January, or the first half of the year, it feels like you might as well stay until that bonus comes. But I also realize that I have enough money saved up I could take time away from working — since I live in one of the few US states where you don't get fucked healthcare-wise if you are unemployed... I don't think I'll do it but knowing that's an option kind of makes me feel like I have some kind of option/escape route.

Anyway I guess for now I need to come up with project ideas for python... maybe I'll do some mastodon stuff or something. I dunno. Just have to keep my skills sharp and my options open.

On non work-related things, I actually understood a few words of Finnish reading, of all things, the McDonald's finland site lol. I guess studying a little every day is paying off already!


from catgoat

I'm setting up #misskey as a test. This blog entry is basically scratchpad/notes I take while I'm doing setup stuff. Mostly this is for me, but if it helps anyone else, that's cool too.

First off I'm going to set this up on a base $5/mo digital ocean droplet. I'm going for ubuntu 19.04. Misskey's docs say you need redis, node, and postgres with optionally elastic search and ffmpeg. I am also going to be using nginx and certbot.

There also appears to be a docker image but since there is not english doc for it in the setup I don't think I will go that route!!

create DO droplet I added my SSH key so I could SSH in with it immediately as root@ip Add a user for yourself and disable SSH for root — look at this if you don't know what i mean if you set up an SSH key when you made the droplet then do the manual version. Add PermitRootLogin No to the ssh config file mentioned once you're sure that you can login as your new user.

Before proceeding, I ran sudo apt-get update and also upgraded ubuntu to latest.

Update node:

Install postgres

Install redis sudo apt-get install redis

install elasticsearch (optional) — follow the instructions for adding it to systemd

install ffmpeg sudo apt-get install ffmpeg

install build-essentials sudo apt-get install build-essential (needed for some node dependencies)

follow the steps to clone the repo.

now setup ufw and nginx follow these:

now we can add nginx's config file for the server block, following the steps in the “how to install nginx” tutorial. start with this for a sample: run sudo nginx -t to test your config! now we can do a certificate:

update your nginx config and add the correct lets encrypt info.

From here on out I switched back and forth between user misskey and myself. When running the steps provided from the misskey team, i did sudo su - misskey to switch, and exited back to my own account if i needed to run sudo.

now follow the build steps in the misskey install steps I ran into this issue:

Then I ran out of memory when web pack was running lol, so i needed to make a swapfile which i allocated 1gb for and then add this node variable export NODE_OPTIONS=--max_old_space_size=4096 see:

great!! almost there..

Create a postgres user and database see documentation for createuser here: enter postgres by typing sudo -u postgres psql after you've created your user do this in psql: CREATE DATABASE yourdb;' 'GRANT ALL PRIVILEGES ON DATABASE yourdb TO youruser; \q to quit

switch back to misskey user... run the npm run init command as user misskey.

now you can follow the steps in the GitHub instructions to run and then create misskey as a service!

reload nginx after misskey is started, and you should be set! GL!!

For email I am using mailgun and I followed their instructions for domain setup. I also added it within the admin interface with SMTP authentication.

DO spaces has an issue where you cannot set default file privacy

However, if you pick up the line of code tamaina points out in the GitHub issue you can add the header you need to make everything public by default


from catgoat

earlier this year I installed a hot water bidet shower in the bathroom, which was kinda the first plumbing project I've done? It wasn't like, super easy, but so far it has held up. Now I'm about to embark on my next house adventure because the pop up drain in the bathroom sink broke!! I think I hulked it apart cleaning the drain out with one of those zip-it snakes. Oopsies. Looks pretty straightforward... I might also try fixing the toilet flapper too, since it's not broken yet but I can tell it's sorta on the way.

Yesterday my bud came over and helped me do some yard work, it was pretty satisfying and we planted a ton of flowers while i was keeping an eye on work emails... I saw a couple insects around the flowers already today. The difference in before/after of the #house is pretty awesome from when I bought it until now. Just gotta keep going!


from penrosemark

i’m off on my shit about being worried about being hurt by someone else when I forget how fucking little time there is. someone is dying right. now. now.

now. someone that you will never be able to meet again, someone that you will never meet if you haven’t met them yet. a beautifully sparkling light, a candle, burnt to the end, never to be relit. fuck your fear; life doesn’t have time for it.

penrose mark